Sleep-Styles Of The Rich & Famous: 10 Tips To A “zzzzzzz …” (i just fell asleep writing this headline. that’s how good i sleep)

“The wealthy sleep more than you do.” – WALL STREET JOURNAL

“And if tonight my soul may find her peace in sleep, and sink in good oblivion, and in the morning wake like a new-opened flower, then I have been dipped again in God, and new-created.” – DH LAWRENCE

“When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, ‘Did you sleep good?’ I said ‘No, I made a few mistakes.” – STEVEN WRIGHT

Americans suck at sleeping.

According to a 2011 poll from the National Sleep Foundation, 43% of Americans say they never get a good nights sleep, 60% say they experience a sleep problem every night, 15% sleep less than 6 hours a night, and 100% say there shouldn’t be foundations for sleeping; people should just sleep.

Getting less than 7.5 hours solid sleep has the following consequences and repercussions:

– lower stress threshold
– impaired memory
– trouble concentrating
– decreased optimism
– impaired creativity
– increased blood pressure
– increased appetite
– increased risk of death
– increased risk of no life after death

I made that last one up, but the rest are real.

Why aren’t Americans sleeping?

Bad mattresses?

I don’t think so. Tribal warriors in the Amazon jungle sleep like babies for ten hours a night on ancient beds called Dirt & Rocks™.

Lack of quality sleep masks?

We don’t lack shiz in America. Lack is for other lazier countries. I have nine sleep masks made of Japanese baby llama wool that cost $400 each. I put one in each room of the house for whenever I feel like dozing off randomly. Sometimes I wear all of them at once even when I’m working just in case.

Too many screaming babies?

Yeah right. We stopped having babies after Roe v Wade. America doesn’t have time for babies. We’re too busy struggling to stay awake during the day.

I could go on.

Sleep that knits up the ravelled sleave of care
The death of each day’s life, sore labour’s bath
Balm of hurt minds, great nature’s second course,
Chief nourisher in life’s feast.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth

I have NO IDEA what any of that means, but I’m pretty sure he’s saying, “You need to go to sleep.”

There are three reasons we’re not sleeping:

1. We don’t value sleep (or sanity).

2. We have levels of stress and anxiety that, if you were to lay them on a pre-industrial- revolution-era peasant worker for just one second, they would die instantly.

3. Our consciences won’t allow it.

We’ll address these three things in a moment. But first …

What if I told you that you had a 1,000% better chance of becoming wealthy by simply getting a better night’s sleep?

To make it in this post-modern, high-tech globally connected world where no one gives a crap about anyone else and is focused solely on their own personal pleasure requires super-human levels of focus, motivation and energy. And this is impossible without a good night’s sleep.

There are three ways to deal with this:

1. Say “F U world,” move to a small farm in North Dakota and opt out of the insanity (not a bad idea, and I have seriously contemplated it).

2. Say “screw sleep – sleep is for sissies” and slam Dopios spiked with 5-Hour Energy’s all day long.


3. Learn how to manage energy and get a good night’s sleep.

I recently read an article about 19 “powerful” people who have chosen to pimp-slap the Sleep Fairy and go with option #2. Apparently they don’t require the standard 7-8 hours of sleep that the rest of us mere mortals do.

Here’s a small sampling of the super-successful non-sleeper’s hibernating habits …

head-mayerMarissa Mayer, Yahoo CEO

Works 130 hours a week and sleeps 4-6 hours a night. Apparently between supporting the world’s worst search engine and running the PRISM spy program on its loyal victims — I mean customers — there is not much conscience left over to allow for sleep.

head-dorseyJack Dorsey, Twitter Founder

Works 20 hours a day and sleeps 4 hours a night. Rumor has it that 10 of those 20 hours are spent trying to figure out how to give us less than 140 Twitter characters without a public uprising as well as a way for the company to actually make money.

head-trumpDonald Trump, No Title Needed – He’s mother effin Donald Trump!

Sleeps 3 or 4 hours a night with one eye open and can’t understand how anyone could live with themselves doing anything differently. “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” is his favorite Haiku. Don, this is why your hair is doing what it’s doing. And it’s affecting all of us. I just had a nightmare about your hair last night. It made me get only 7.1 hours sleep and now I’m cranky and this blog post isn’t as informatively useful as it most likely wasn’t going to be anyway. Please stay asleep more.

head-lenoJay Leno, Host of The Tonight Show

Does 150 stand-up comedy gigs a year plus the Tonight Show five nights a week. That’s 460 nights a year. Not even possible, but he sleeps five hours each of those nights.

Don, look at Leno’s hair. That’s what 2 extra hours of sleep will do.

LISTEN: All these people have one thing in common:

They’re all going to die sometime in the next 45 minutes.

Wealth is wonderful. But not if you’re dead.

You know that expression “you can’t take it with you?” Well that does not apply to Jay Leno’s hair. No one says where Jay Leno’s hair can go. That thick crop of amazingness is freakin immortal. Jay Leno has so much hair, the aliens mistook it for a wheat field last year and did a crop circle on it. They abducted half his hair to study it and it still looks fuller than ever.

But the expression does have ramifications for the rest of us less follicley fortunate.

I don’t care if you are Jack Dorsey, Donald Trump, or the president of the United States — you need 7-8 hours of sleep a night or you are taunting the Grim Freakin Reaper.

“What does a man profit if he gains the whole world, but forfeits his soul?”

– Some Old Fashioned Guy Who Obviously Is Out Of Touch With The Modern World

Do you know why the Grim Reaper carries that razor sharp scythe around with him?

Definitely NOT to cut Jay Leno’s hair that’s for sure! Jay Leno’s hair cuts itself. Automatically. Jesus never even came close to sinning one single time except for once when he looked into the future, saw Leno’s hair and came within a nanosecond of coveting it. That thick silky mane single-hairdedly almost messed up the redemption plan of the entire universe.

Have you ever noticed that presidents of the United States look like they age about 95 years after an 8-year term?

You’re about to notice.




There’s a reason why all presidents besides Barack (why does everyone call him by his last name?) age horribly in office.

They don’t sleep very well.

It’s kind of a stressful job nannying 7 billion people. One could get anxiety I suppose.

My long-winded point …

America is the most sleep-deprived nation on earth. We are also one of the illest (not in a Beastie Boy way), obese, diseased, and psychotic countries as well.

We are sleep-deprived because we are peace-deprived.

And our wealth is dwindling as a direct result.

A Harvard study estimates that sleep deprivation is costing companies $63.2 billion dollars in lost revenue each year due to decreased productivity.

What if only the people who would commit to getting a good night’s sleep got to split that 63 billion dollars? Would you play that game?

Well I’ve got good news for you …

That game is ON.

Here’s how to win:

1) Start valuing sleep. Understand at a deep level that your happiness, well-being, and wealth depend on you being well rested.

Don’t let anything come between you and your 7-8 hours. Defend it like you defend your doughnuts from people at work who keep asking if they can have one. And then start not having doughnuts at some point. That will help too.

2) Exercise vigorously in the late afternoon or early evening. When I say vigorously I mean sweat should be gushing from every pore of your body. You should look like a freaking fountain. If people aren’t tossing pennies at you and wishing for things you’re not doing it right. This will both reduce stress and get you enough pennies to buy some melatonin.

3) Melatonin sucks by itself. Take the #1 best sleep supplement in the known universe: I take these every night and I’ve been winning national sleeping contests ever since. It’s like taking a handful of sleeping pills plus harpooning yourself with a whale tranquilizer but good for you.

4) Take cold showers and ice baths. I take 3 ice baths a week. The trick is to make the bath at room temperature, get in, and then put a few bags of ice in. It slow freezes you like a frog in boiling water but the opposite of that. Don’t be a hero and put the ice in first; trust me.

Ice baths are like putting a shotgun to the head of anxiety and pulling the trigger. It also naturally boosts your body’s production of melatonin, which as I said, sucks by itself. (

I realize this may sound insane to some people, but it’s no more insane than sleeping 5 hours a night, drinking coffee to stay up, alcohol to get back down, and then putting poisonous chemicals on your face to erase the wrinkles that come as a direct result. If you’ve never slept for 8 hours, try it once. You will be amazed at what your face and eyes look like in the morning. It is like you slept in a time machine that went back twenty years.

Sleep is the new Botox.

5) Be as productive as possible during the day. If you don’t, your conscience won’t let you sleep. “I Could’ve Done More” is the worst lullaby song ever. Worse than Rock A Bye Baby.  “… the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all???” Who the heck wrote that psycho-song for infants, and how did it catch on exactly? That’s right up there with the “and if I should die before I wake …” kid’s prayer. WTF? That had to have been the Nazi’s.

“A day, well spent, brings happy sleep.” – Leonardo Da Vinci

6) Destroy as few lives as possible during the day. If you don’t, your conscience won’t let you sleep. “I Could’ve Destroyed Less” is another lullaby flop. Ironically, that one was a hit with the Nazi’s. It put them all to sleep. That’s how we won.

“Your life is a reflection of how you sleep, and how you sleep is a reflection of your life.” -Dr. Rafael Pelayo

7) Rub a few drops of lavender and chamomile essential oil on the bottom of your feet and palm of hands right before bed. Cup your hands over your mouth and breath it in for a minute. Add a few drops of chloroform if the situation warrants.*

8) Get 20 minutes of morning sunlight on as much of your body as possible. This adjusts your body’s circadian rhythm to match reality. People used to be out in the sun every day. I don’t know if you know that or not.

9) Turn your TV off two hours before bed. Your brain thinks it’s the sun and it messes your circadian rhythm up. Better yet, never turn it on in the first place. You have no idea how dumb it’s making you.

10) Develop a ritual (possibly with some of the things above) before bed. This sends a clear message to your subconscious that it’s time to switch everything off. Don’t let this somehow devolve into a Satanic ritual. Those are bad. Satan is a horrible sleeper.

11) Read fiction before bed. Preferably something funny that makes you laugh out loud. Laughing boosts serotonin. Try “Asshole: How I Got Rich & Happy By Not Giving a Damn About Anyone & How You Can, Too (kind of a vulgar title for marketing’s sake, but its one of the funniest books I’ve ever read)

12) Count 100 “Gratitude Sheep” when you close your eyes:

1 … I’m grateful it wasn’t any worse than it definitely was today.

2 … I’m grateful I wasn’t born a Nazi.

3 … I’m grateful for the extra bowl of porridge Barack has rationed us this month March 2024.

4 … zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I have like twenty more tips but this is all you’re getting for free.

And by the way, anything more than 8 hours of sleep is bad for you. You will find yourself more and more tired during the day for every minute over 8 hours you slack around in bed. If that’s you, wake the heck up and stop avoiding reality. It’s not as bad as you’re thinking it is. It’s close, but not totally as bad. And I mean let’s face it … if you can sleep like a baby for more than eight hours with no trouble at all without smoking weed or popping Ambien?? You might have more in common with that baby than you think.

Here’s a good rule of thumb: If you’re living life properly you should have to fight for sleep (but still get it), and be glad when it’s over – meaning you pop out of bed without hitting a snooze button. Dude if you are hitting a snooze button you are LOSING. Snooze buttons are for losers. Straight up. I know this because whenever I used them fifteen years ago I was losing badly.

“I love sleep. My life has a tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?” – Ernest Hemingway

Recommended Reading: The Power of Full Engagement by Tony Schwartz

Ancient Wisdom To Memorize: It is vain for you to rise up early, To retire late, To eat the bread of painful labors; For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.

Affirmation For The Week: I value sleep and am always full of energy.


* DO NOT ACTUALLY DO THIS! And don’t Google “chloroform” unless you want a SWAT team knocking your door down in the next half hour.

Leave a comment below, let us know how much sleep you get, and tell us any sleep-tricks you have up your sleeve. The world needs to know!

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46 Comments on "Sleep-Styles Of The Rich & Famous: 10 Tips To A “zzzzzzz …” (i just fell asleep writing this headline. that’s how good i sleep)"

  1. Michele Mohammed July 28, 2013 Reply

    I sleep for 7-8 hours per night. I go into deep sleep with no problem. The world could be falling apart someone could be banging on my front door or calling on the phone and I don’t hear a thing….Laugh!

  2. 0 n e answer only.- – – – – – – – –

    Can you L(°|°)k the above lines…?..
    The phsico efect of Suspensive points or separate long lines in The reading chart mean …?…..
    I will help you
    Mean One-space into the reading
    -You stop reading but…. You do not stop reading –
    The point is this: – To sleep is part of the life activity – people supose that you don’ work when you sleep –
    ps- sleep as a job task.

  3. I sleep, in bed, at the office, in the car, on the floor… get the picture. No tranquil darts needed. Power naps are my friend and so is REM, not the group but the stage. People say I have too many energy drinks….well that was the case and say nothing changed when I dosed offof those things. I’m still wired! But it usually happens when we got things todo, life to live, and money to make. But before I get star…..zzzzzzzzz

  4. Preston you are so right about how important it is to get the right amount of sleep. I try to get 8 hours every night, but my main problem is staying asleep. I’m a light sleeper and even if nothing is going on I will wake several times during the night. What I really need is a way to sleep 8 hours straight. Sleep aids leave me groggy in the morning. I might try the lavender and chloro — oh I mean chamomile oil.

  5. I totally agree with all the reasons we can lose sleep and that by doing what we should in these same areas we are rewarded with great peace and renewing sleep. Thanks for the insight.

  6. Frances Dougherty July 29, 2013 Reply

    I have not been getting 8 hours of sleep a night and I noticed that I have not been able to accomplish much. It was not until I read the book a week ago, called, “Eat The Frog”, that I am beginning to turn my life around and make changes in every aspect of my life. Thanks Preston for this insight and your blog that I truly enjoy. I love the ancient wisdon and the affirmation for the week.

    Today, I am full of energy and started my day right.

  7. lyttleton anderson July 29, 2013 Reply

    My head fluids run down my throat continously and Im awake off and on all nite. No solid zen sleep. Food alergies. Afraid of sleep perscription medicine.

  8. John Horne July 29, 2013 Reply

    Great post and just what i needed today. I dont get enough sleep and last night i slept about 5 hours. this morning I find myself anxious about everything!!!!!!! So starting tonight we go for broke 7-8 hours and we will fight to the death for it! Thanks for the great information


  9. Great subject matter. I am with a husband who thinks sleep isn’t all that important. He sleeps his average amount and is a serious workaholic. I do not get up early. The earlier I get up, my husband starts on telling me the anxiety problems of the day, week or year. By 8:00am I am exhausted just talking to him. I have decided to continue to value my sleep schedule because I can think more clearly about my life’s decisions.
    D Hennessey

  10. Alexander Campbell July 29, 2013 Reply

    I think this makes some great points, and offers some great tips! The natural need to have a clear conscience and a purpose to living and to sleeping is the most important in my opinion. I’m not sure I agree that everyone should get 7-8 hours of sleep. Actually, if you take naps during the day (1, 2, or even 3 naps, 15-25 minutes each, then not only will you stay productive during the day, but you will need significantly less sleep at night.

  11. Hey P always love your humor along with the seriousness of life voyages. Sleep is a good thing to get because you do wake up cranky and irritated by the ordinary acts of daily living but the beauty of it all is that all we have to do is take the time to do what’s good for us but it seems that we could really care less what happens to all the things we do to our 70 trillion cells of DNA so freely given to us and that’s because we have know skin in the making of ourselves so we take the eyes for granted as if we don’t need our sight to enjoy the simplicity of everyday life our hearing to listen to all the different sounds that are herd all over the world in the children laughter musicians playing oceans roaring and just to name a few of our functions that we could enjoy if we only took time to say oh how kind and gracious the creator is for allowing us to enjoy His creation of all that He has made we definitely need to ponder the work of God’s handy work and sleep on all these amazing things that He has done for use is not exceptable but yet His Love and free will I really wonder if we realize that we are meat that talks not like the news media those Q card talking heads but real people that can be colloquial and very verbose on many different subjects let’s just take the subject we are speaking on sleep how can I get it without taking any pills or drinking any alcohol to pass out into a deep sleep now to tell you the truth I can save people a lot of money I have the most powerful sleeping pill ever known to man kind and it is a enemy of man kind so I want keep you guessing any longer this is what you must do to get the good night sleep if you pick up the Basic Instruction Before Leaving Earth and start to read I promise you that the enemy will attack your mind and all of a sudden you are so very very sleepy and now you are at rest try it at any time of day and see if what I’m saying is true and you know that the truth has set you free. This is the reading of the Bible God’s will and testament HIS WILL for You and Me. Oh by the way I only sleep 6 hours a day.

  12. Margarete July 29, 2013 Reply

    All right Preston, I’ve tried natural supplements with and without melatonin from at least 5 different highly neutraceutical companies, and none of them work for me to get the 7 to 8 hours of sleep you say I need. I’ve tried lavender and chamomile oil too. I once went 2 weeks in high school without sleeping at all and now that I’m an unemployed 59 year old with bad skin, I sleep typically 2 to 4 hours a night. I go to the gym 5 days a week, do a high intensity training workout 3 days a week and typically don’t sleep more than 5 to 6 hours a night (on a good day!). Usually it takes 100 mg of Trazodone or 3 to 4 glasses of wine to make that happen! I hope the Trazodone is the lesser of two evils here! Anyway, the (allegedly) most expensive natural supplement has got to show me it can do for me what it does for Preston before I’ll buy!

  13. Thanks, Preston! Great tips & inspiration . I sleep maybe 4hrs a night. Not good at all! I’m going to use your ideas! GOD Bless!!!

  14. kathryn briere July 29, 2013 Reply

    pray,live, laugh,love, if you are doing everything you can to get where you are going, you will sleep! to Preston, great article, good subject, and Hay there, heeeeeeeeeee

  15. Makes sense to me (and with a good sense of humor for the serotonin)! And so now it is Time to hit the Hay! Tomorrow is another day, and Ben Franklin also said — Early to bed, early to rise, makes one healthy and wealthy and wise! I add that It’s better to turn in early and then get up early as you have a longer morning to get the routine stuff out of the way:) And Then to Focus on goals and work. Thanks, Preston!

  16. lay in bed an put on some headphones and listen to some binaural subliminal beats for lucid dreaming…you’ll be out in no time! There’s tons of them on youtube….

    happy sleepin!

  17. Anthony Dostie July 30, 2013 Reply

    the fun part about sleeping good, is some of the dreams you will remember. over 55 maybe, one time to pee…? plus, how about square breathing for a few minutes before bed. this is good too! In bed by 10:PM up at 5:30am

  18. U fukn rock. I laughed. Needed that.

  19. Hazim Niami July 31, 2013 Reply

    Great idea I sleep every night 7 to 8 hour, and about 2 to 3 hours afternoon

  20. Love this!

    I get between 7 and 8 hours every night. For some reason I naturally wake up at 4:30 in the morning, so I go to bed pretty early, before any of my kids. (They’re teens, so they don’t need me to put them to bed.)

    I’ve noticed that when I’m doing my morning ritual consistently (“I can do it,” affirmations, exercise, drinking water, etc.) my sleep is better, more consistent, and less interrupted. Starting the day right helps it flow right and end well. Then I read something calm and uplifting when I go to bed. Usually Norman Vincent Peale or George MacDonald.

  21. Elisa Morales September 9, 2013 Reply

    Funny and true. I appreciate your well-intended advice and, so far, I still laugh at your jokes.

    Freedom Soft is fabulous. Lost without it. (well, mostly. But very sad) Glad to be back.

  22. Cristina Abellar September 26, 2013 Reply

    I just had one of my best laughs which will surely give me my good night sleep! Thankfully, I do not have a sleep problem. I always have a sound 8 hour sleep which most of my friends & family mocked about. They believed that you should sleep less as you age and I said, “That’s why it does not apply to me”. LOL Great post,kudos!

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  24. Monique Rene December 9, 2013 Reply

    I value sleep and exercise, and I am always full of energy!

    Thank you Preston, God Bless

  25. OTAI SAMUEL Mob+256772827990 December 24, 2013 Reply

    Hullo Preston, thanks for the Tips on Sleep. It is my routine to go to bed at exactly 9pm & wake up instantly between 5-6am, to perform my early morning activities. It has worked for me very much.

  26. Power On Power Off July 4, 2014 Reply

    Thanks for the shoutout Preston! Power On and the sleep aid Power Off work with your brain to promote mindful focus and restful sleep. What inspired you to write this article? Are any regular readers experiencing sleep troubles?

  27. I have sleep apnea. I plug in my CPAP and sleep soundly for at least 7 hours with no snoring and get up in the morning fully refreshed and full of energy. I would not wish this upon anyone, but it does work well.

  28. Once upon a time I got 8 hours a sleep a night. I was beautiful, happy and full of energy. Then I became a mom, now a single mom and I average 5 to 6 hours on a good night. Work 7 days a week to feed and clothe her. I ALWAYS SAY “I have not slept in 14 years. EVERYTHING Preston said is true..everything goes to by hell. I am making the best of it.

  29. thanks!

  30. “It’s like taking a handful of sleeping pills plus harpooning yourself with a whale tranquilizer but good for you.”

    I did literally laugh out loud at that one. Thanks Preston

  31. Pamela Tiemann February 17, 2015 Reply

    Hey Presto,

    I’m just like you! I love,to relax and sleep. I never seem to have that problem of hitting a snooze button. Ever since I was a little girl living on the farm, I had to wake up early,hop right out out of bed, get dressed, and do chores all before 7 am (I was at the end of the driveway waiting for the bus every morning by 7 am). It really doesn’t matter what time I go to bed, my eyeballs are on automatic 4:45 am wakeup. I ALWAYS wake up minutes before my alarm.

    One trick I learned is not to eat your evening meal after 6 pm. The body does not have enough time before you go to bed at night to digest your meal. Since Beef and Pork are the hardest to digest, forget about those meats at night.

    I related to almost every teat you wrote down. I’ve had them multiple times….. I think I seriously glow at night! LOL

    Take care and chat later

  32. Probably the best book that helps relax at bedtime is the Bible, especially the book of Proverbs.

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  35. oyinda Ojofeitimi October 31, 2015 Reply

    I sleep fairly well every night. I don’t need any portion to put me to sleep.

  36. Rozanne Kaas November 4, 2015 Reply

    Hello guys, I’m a new mother and I am desperately to get my two month baby to sleep through the night. Right now I’m fortunate to have three hours rest a night. Best wishes


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  39. Hasna mudassar June 12, 2016 Reply

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  40. Lashaunda Divens October 21, 2016 Reply

    Hey, what an informative and comprehensive post. Helped me a lot with my dilemma. Love the points you have pointed out. Unquestionably true!

  41. Preston, commenting on bizarro children’s songs, offers to add to the collection with this one:

    “I Could Have Destroyed Less…”

    Preston says that this title would of course be, like so many others in our memory, another lullaby flop.

    This is pretty good and more than you’d expect from a real estate guy.

    It’s just about priceless.

  42. A glass of hot chocolate and a hot bath with lavander bubbles in lavander sented candle light is my go to for a good nights sleep. I get anywhere from 6-10hrs depending on what time my granchildren wake up then wake me up.

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